Why do women have so many insecurities ?

By Shubhda in Fashion & Lifestyle 24/11/2015

 

It’s a tough world out there. So much of cut-throat competition! Ah, it makes it very difficult to adjust in the real world, especially with so much of façade and pretentious people. You never know whom you can trust and for how long. Future seems scary and uncertain, as you don’t know exactly the direction you are heading towards. At the same time, being a woman brings you automatically into a genre where you have to be tamed, domesticated and protected, because you yourself cannot take the right decisions regarding your life.

 

But is this all true?

 

To a certain extent, women have a lot of insecurities. They mentally keep comparing themselves with others, or expecting too much from their own destiny and hard-work, ultimately disappointing them in the end. There are various kinds of insecurities that women have.

 

 

Here’s a list of the most common ones. 

1.    Am I too fat? More often than not, you will always find women comparing how they look, be it their hair, skin, personality and of course weight. They are always insecure about how they look. Instead of focussing on their personalities, they want to look like the “typical women” they are told to be. They keep judging themselves, eating less, behaving meekly and checking out countless websites for their diet plan. It’s definitely a lot of stress and unnecessary tension that they take, ultimately raising their anxiety levels.

 

2.    Am I with the right guy? For many women, this insecurity is very deep. They always keep comparing their partners with their friends’ partners or husbands. Somehow or the other, they find reasons to always crib and complain, making it even difficult for the man to understand it. They are intoxicated by the Bollywood idea of romance and want their partners to reciprocate it, anytime anywhere. This is of course is not possible and not healthy for the relationship, which needs to be rooted through mutual understanding.

 

That’s one of the other reasons why women easily get bored with their partners and switch them, on and off, thereby landing into unpredictable relationships.

 

3.    Do I look smart enough? All of us enjoy having a deep conversations with people, mostly because all women love heart-to-heart conversations. It gives them solace. While making these conversations, they want to put forward their knowledge and experience as well. Some try to act smart even if they are not. They think buying those nerdy spectacles or talking about recent politics or society would make them sound superior. Some even participate in political strikes and fasts, but deep inside, they are actually running away from reality. Just because one owns a lot of books or knows names of popular authors does not make one smart or intelligent. In fact, it’s an innate ability and the more you try to pretend, the more embarrassing it will be.

 

4.    Have I grown old? Most women simply hate answering this question. They never reveal their real age, always hiding it by a few years, here and there. But deep inside, they know that they are growing old. This insecurity is linked to another constant fear amongst women that as they grow older, they would be less desired by other men. That is one of the main reasons why they choose to marry early because they know that after few years, men might not find them attractive enough and might shift to a younger woman.

 

Ah, only if we knew how many anti-aging creams and websites are regularly devoured by such women on a constant basis, who believe that their growing age is their biggest punishment.

 

5.    Is my height fare enough? Undoubtedly, an impressive height plays a pivotal role in making your personality more attractive and endearing. At the same time, most of the women in India have an average height. Some women seem to want to be taller, and complain of only being in the low 5’s. Apparently, even being 5’5 is not considered to be tall enough. Deep inside, they keep comparing themselves with models or that glamorous divas, and continuously nag about their own height. They don’t realise that an impressive personality can cover up for anything, whether its one’s height or even complexion.

 

6.    Are my breasts big enough? Well this insecurity is very deep-rooted and personal. Women hardly discuss openly about it. Everyone wants to be desired and control the seductive game plan. Women apparently see celebrities with large breasts and want to have large breasts too. They try wearing clothes that can show their cleavage, even if its a little bit. At times, it can get vulgar. But this insecurity is prominent amongst most women, who believe their sexuality is directly proportional to their appearances.

 

7.    I know, he just wants to sleep with me! In today’s age, flings have become so common. Both men and women do not have issues with one-night stands. As men are commitment phobic, women deeply fear that their partner is just present for the sake of physical intimacy. They fear that if they stop seducing, flirting or sleeping with their partners, their relationship would end. In most of the cases, it does happen. But this insecurity at times, takes a toll on women who become very harsh with their partners just because of their own internal fears. They start nagging and cribbing, often stating that their ‘partner is simply using them’. This insecurity can turn out to be a reason for one’s marriage to fall apart. So, its important that a woman does not let this insecurity take control in her marital problems.

 

8.    He is not attracted to me anymore: Women, deep down, always give a lot of power to men whom they are attracted to. In most of the cases, it ends up transforming their personality and becoming someone they think will be able to ‘attract’ the right partner. In this effort, they lose sense of who they really are and what they actually want in a person they wish to date. And if the guy does not reciprocate, they are easily convinced with the fact that either he must be seeing other women or is plainly not interested in them, anymore.

 

9.    Do I earn enough? Many women are very ambitious and they chase money like a greedy animal. They believe that earning more money will make them a better person. They believe that their growth can be mapped out only in terms of how much money they earn. Hence, they grow even more materialistic. Due to such fears, women go through depression and anxiety attacks when they take a sabbatical or when they leave their jobs due to pregnancy or family problems.

 

10.    I can never be wrong: Several women are high- headed. They read far too much into innocent statements and will accuse a person of intending to do things which were never meant to do. At times, they can get very authoritative and controlling, even within their peer groups.

 

All these insecurities occur because a woman is made to believe that she is inferior to men from the time she gets acquainted to the society. The societal biases, the discrimination, the eyes full of judgements are enough for any woman to develop some kind of insecurities in her life. But, a woman’s biggest enemy is her fear. She should just try to keep herself away from any insecurities as they all result in making her prone to diseases like depression, obesity or other and unwanted mental illnesses which can aggravate these insecurities even further.

 

Shubhda
Shubhda Chaudhary is a Research Scholar, Featured Writer and a Budding Entrepreneur. She loves researching on Middle Eastern Politics, Role of Foreign Journalists and Arab Media. In addition, she is contributing to the research on an upcoming book on Farmer Suicides in Vidarbha.

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