Is Happy Wife A Myth?

By Mahhima Bhayyana in Health & Nutrition 20/05/2016

In the modern lexicon, where men are apparently emancipated and talk about a woman’s lib in social situations, they don’t really practice what they preach. In our society, men with good manners are confused with good morals and our parents happily marry us off to them because they tick all the right boxes. These boxes decide the fate of a happy wife!

 

So what are these boxes that make a woman a happy wife ?

 

Good Looks, Good Education, Good Family, Good Job, Good Social Standing, and good Money.

And if you get a tick on all the boxes apparently, you are the happiest wife.

No one knows what goes behind the closed doors of a bedroom. These days, you tend to judge how happy a person is through their facebook posts, infact a lot of wives put up pictures of shopping bags , home cooked meals, dogs, rings and the best is OTT anniversary posts which aims at validating ‘the happy status’ .

 

If you are so happy then why do you need the validation in the first place?

 

Unfortunately, Happiness is all about receiving validation from the person whom you are supposedly in love with rather than the outside world. It is a common notion that sex goes out of the window after a few years of marriage for most couples, of course exceptions exist and I won’t deny that. The couple might be engaged in active PDA in front of their friends because they want to look like the perfect couple but once they go home, they sleep in separate bedrooms and can’t even stand the sight of each other.

 

Recently, it was a shocker when the famous Bollywood couple, Suzzane Roshan and Hrithik Roshan decided to get a divorce after 17 years of marriage. It’s so ironical that if you think of it, she had everything a woman would desire in her husband. She was married to the Greek God of Bollywood, had two Amazing kids, a raging care in interiors and a ‘Star Wife’ Status. Though, Reasons are still unknown as to why she decided to file for a DIVORCE.

 

Another unfortunate example is of the late Sunanda Pushkar who was a politician’s wife. Sunanda was an independent woman who was also a  passionate philanthropist. She was married to the politician and author Shashi Tharoor(Currently, he is the Chairman of the Parliamentary Standing Committee on External Affairs).

 

Personally, I am not a big fan of him but this is the generic opinion!

 

Last year a series of controversial tweets appeared on Tharoor’s Twitter account, from a well know Pak journalist -Mehr Tarar, he immediately retaliated by tweeting that his account had been hacked and he was dealing with a breach of his privacy. Sunanda Pushkar went public about it and told the Economic Times.

 

“Our accounts have not been hacked and I cannot tolerate this. This is a Pakistani woman who is an ISI agent, and she is stalking my husband. And you know how men are. He is flattered by the attention. I took upon myself the crimes of this man during IPL [that is, she was blamed for wanting shares in the Indian Premier League] I will not allow this to be done to me. I just can’t tolerate this.”

 

Pushkar also told the Indian Express newspaper that Tharoor had been having a “rip-roaring affair” with Tarar, and that she would “seek a divorce.” I have seen Pushkar’s and Tharoor’s happy interviews and fairytale pictures which went viral after she mysteriously died in a hotel room. They looked perfect, she looked full of life and in love .

 

She lived the myth……

 

Brad Pitt once stated in his interview “a woman is the reflection of her man”. Although, a lot of people would disagree to this as every human being is responsible for his/her own happiness or state of mind. On the contrary, I  believe that a woman loved by her man is a happy woman. Its true that a good career cannot compensate for an unsuccessful marriage nor can a loving husband compensate for a unsuccessful career.

 

It gets messy when the definition of happiness differs for the two. On one hand,  a man may try to show his love by making his woman proud of him or providing her with all the luxury she wants . But the truth is that she just wants his TIME.

 

In the contemporary Indian society, a woman needs her own life unless she is the kind who is happy being invested in home, husband and family. This is a rare case  because the wife needs to hold the family strings together and have a life of her own as well.  It reminds me of the the infamous line used by the most urban wives.

“My husband doesn’t love me the way I want him to love me”

“The excessive availability you give to your husband, it values you down!”

“Familiarity breeds contempt” but marriage is familiarity!”

 

So, Is this a myth or just an illusion? Because what she wants is sometimes far away from reality and her expectations cannot always find a match. 

 


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