Why No Orgasm for Me?

By Aayushi Porwal in Fashion & Lifestyle 28/12/2017

When the mind meditates for the Vagina.

When the thoughts keep still and the woman feels secure.

When a woman feels real. When the shame and guilt are just words.

As it is all set and about to climax.

I know you for real though I had to fake your shiver!

 

It’s time to have a real conversation.

 

It’s time to talk about the pleasure of a woman, their needs and desires. It’s shocking that even in 2017, men don’t like/want to go down on women and neither do they want to talk about it for some bizarre reasons.

 

Don’t believe it? Here’s something to back the statement. A study shows that 38% of the women complain that they don’t get enough clitoral stimulation by tongue or finger from their partners and only 12% of women admit to having decently satisfactory oral sex. As per another survey, there is a legit gap in oral sex between men and women wherein 63% of the men regularly enjoy blowjobs and only 44% women get oral sex.

 

The reasons behind these statistics will shock you even more. One section of society believes that women who experience orgasm are impure. How does that even make sense right? While some find it gross to go down on women, their justifications ranging from ‘finding vagina like a toilet seat to Vagina smelling like fish!’

 
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One of the most intimate and pleasurable act ever, sex is all about giving pleasure as it is about receiving pleasure. You can’t just expect to get it without you putting a little effort. Some feel it is too much of an effort to finger or lick their women for 20 minutes.

 

As we are talking about efforts, let’s put some light on the G-spot which is something men can’t find. “It’s really a big task to find the G-Spot of a woman while fingering/licking her.”  – A lazy man one said.

 

Let’s not forget the building up part of the whole act – foreplay! Alot of men clearly don’t see the need for foreplay when they are all ready for sex, when they have an erection and a willing woman nearby. While on the other hand, foreplay is an essential part of sex. It’s a great mutual feeling to be kissed and explored. When foreplay is omitted, it makes sex rushed and monotonous.

 

When the juices aren’t flowing from both ends, there is no heat in the bodies, sex is also, plain, cold and dissatisfactory.  

 
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As we go ahead more with statistics, it is noted that 50% of the women in modern-urban societies are either pressured to give blowjobs to their partners or they are conditioned to believe that it’s the duty of their gender to please their partners. It’s surprising that even with sex and pleasure, our society is majorly sexist and biased.

 

However, surveys suggest that men actually feel amazing to have their partners moaning and screaming with pleasure as a result of their hard work! Think about it!

 
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Women, in some cases, are at fault too. A lot of women shy away from asking their men to go down on them due to certain reservations in their minds. It’s an age-old mentality of women to accept what they are given without asking for much because “log kya kahenge” and here,

 

“Vo Kya kahega?”

 

“It will look too desperate of me if I ask him to go down on me!”  

 

Most importantly, a lot of women feel obliged if given clitoral stimulation via finger or tongue. And this shouldn’t be the case because having an orgasm is as natural as breathing or drinking water or eating! By having an orgasm, there are certain chemicals – Oxytocin and Serotonin released which are needed to regulate women’s hormonal balance impaired by stress, moods, menstrual cycle, etc. A deficiency in any of these chemicals can increase the level of stress, mood swings, obesity, and psychotic behaviour, impaired cognitive functions and increases breast-cancer risk.

 

Oxytocin released in the female body, when she orgasms, is beneficial for men as well. When in touch with a man’s body, the oxytocins are known to fight various heart diseases, and reduce the risk of cancer.

 

It’s really time to talk about female orgasms and change these statistics for the betterment of manhood.

 
 

Aayushi Porwal
After spending her academic life studying balance sheets, Aayushi found her passion for words. She finds the best in herself by losing herself in a book. Her favourite writing topics are love and relationships, faith, inspiration, heartbreak and anything except bios about herself.The best words that define her are: A writer, daydreamer, and a Pogonophile!She believes we are in a dire need to save the earth as it’s the only planet with beards.

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