Lessons Learnt From Falling in Love With The Wrong Person

By Shubhda in Fashion & Lifestyle 22/01/2016


Insanely, irresistibly and irrationally, it’s natural to fall in love with the wrong person. Gathering your shattered pieces, bit by bit and intuitively realizing that is never going to return can create a void in your life, irreplaceable and parasitic. Going through the downward spiral of depression, very often and quite treacherously, you might lose a sense of your own self-worth.


It is too difficult to acknowledge that life won’t ever be the same again, especially without the love that made you feel complete. Initially, you might have realised that handing over your love, trust and intimacy to a person who crushed you into millions of pieces was not the right thing to do.


But later, as its dawns, as it always does, you will realise that perhaps, falling in love with the wrong person had been a great lesson. Let’s find out how.


You will learn about yourself


Every relationship breaks stereotypes and reveals to you a lot about yourself. What you can deal with, what makes you angry, how you react to someone’s absence, how you manage to compromise. It teaches you how to understand yourself, in-depth and what kind of an individual you are, above anything. A lot about you gets revealed, especially when you engage in an intimate relationship that tells you about your own limitations and triumph.


What the right person actually means?


Now, you won’t wait for the prince charming, riding a mystical horse, taking you out of the morass. No, you will be stronger, much more secure of your own personality. You will create a wall around yourself, which won’t be easy to intrude. You will know exactly what you are looking for. No, your heart won’t flutter with every cute guy passing by or a man making a move, you will be well guarded. You would be more equipped to judge another person and not fall for false pretexts. Calling off another time won’t be that piercing and painful, because you will know it’s not worth it. You would now want someone who gives you a greater push, inspires you and brings out the best in you. It’s not a rosy tale anymore but a much more self-evolving journey.


How to love ?


More than anything, even if it has been the wrong person, you have now known what it means to love someone. You will know that love is pious and sacred and hence, you will be much more sensitive. In this process, you also learn how to accept love from the other person and know how you would respond to it. You will learn what it means to break all barriers and be available for someone, innocently. You will also realize that love does not mean the same for everyone and you will learn to embrace it.


You will learn how to embrace others


A loss is a loss, at the end of the day. Losing someone you loved will make you more aware of how to preciously hold your near and dear ones closer to yourself. You learn that people come and go and you need to work on the relationship with everyone around you to make it work, be it your family, friends or colleagues. It will help you in accepting people as they truly are and not judge them on the basis of their loopholes. Inside of yourself, you would be willing to give more chances to people, especially who have been in your position and suffered the same kind of loss like you. In short, your frequency and wavelength for matching with people improve, believe it or not.


You will master the art of Self-Love


Ever heard of this term? Well, you must. Nothing is as powerful and confident as self-love. That is what takes you out from the pitch darkness and you get to know that you have to deal with it alone. In this process, you will learn to struggle alone, fight alone and deal with your problems. You will no longer need a crying shoulder that takes advantage of your vulnerability. You will learn to embrace yourself as you truly are and be confident in it.


You will soon acknowledge that nothing can bring you down. Not even your own self. You will rise like a silent phoenix from the ashes and fly away towards the horizon.


You will experience a newer version of yourself 


After a relationship gets over, you are no longer the same person. Something changes inside of you. You are no longer what you used to be, the abstract life and elixirs no longer inspires you. You get into the quest of reaching out to be a better person, certainly not like the person who left you. With time, the scars and the pain would fade away and you would realize that you are doing better than before and would literally thank God for conspiring the entire universe, which is filled with love, just for you.


You will realise that Life is short


You learn that life is short and such tragedies should not suck the life out of you. It will make your stronger and you would be much more equipped to take life, in a much more mature and nuanced manner because life has taught you that pain can be the biggest teacher and sometimes, it helps you evolve. You realize that all your fears of being single and alone were self-created and life does not butcher you in the end.


In the end, what does not kill you, makes you stronger.


So, all you brave ladies out there who fell in love with the wrong person, we salute you for being your true self. Never ever doubt yourself and continue to embrace the life, with all its love and nurture yourself. Grow and evolve and time will definitely heal your wounds.



Shubhda Chaudhary is a Research Scholar, Featured Writer and a Budding Entrepreneur. She loves researching on Middle Eastern Politics, Role of Foreign Journalists and Arab Media. In addition, she is contributing to the research on an upcoming book on Farmer Suicides in Vidarbha.


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