Why are Women drawn towards Mysterious Men ?

By Saloni Jain in Health & Nutrition 04/03/2016

“Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what’s on the other side?”
― George R.R. Martin


Have you ever met a man or a young guy who was not your normal archetype – perhaps rather physically plain from your point of view – yet you couldn’t help but find yourself  being drawn to him?


This has been a crucial question since the times of Adam and Eve. In order to become one of those Alpha males who always manage to magnetically draw women towards them, it is necessary to understand and turn back the pages of the past centuries to figure out what women have found dangerously attractive in men. Although, most people probably don’t consider narcissism or psychopathy as the desirable traits in their romantic partners, many of us are mysteriously drawn towards people who possess  such personality traits. Mean girls are associated with ‘ popularity’ and vampires are associated with ‘sex’. Recent research has found that people with so-called “dark” personality traits are more physically attractive than others. What is it about a dark personality that makes them so appealing?


We as humans are always interested in things we don’t understand. And that mystery continues with everything. It’s easier to make an abstract connection. The point where a person does something ‘unsusal’ which isn’t normal according to the society, everyone wants to know more about it.


“An elusive, enigmatic aura will make people want to know more, drawing them into your circle…The moment people feel they know what to expect from you, your spell on them is broken.” –Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction


When you receive clear signals of interest from another person, a person is momentarily pleased, adapts quickly, and the case is closed. But when interest is uncertain, they are constantly in search of an explanation. What is it exactly,  the well-known reciprocity principle of social psychology (people like people who like them) or the uncertain principle from the literature on seduction (people like people who might like them)?


Attraction can be so overwhelming that during most of Western history, it has been considered dangerous and destabilising enough to be constrained as much celebrated. The Greeks portrayed sexual attraction as a weapon, a dart that might pierce the flesh and possess a soul, causing chaos among humans and the gods alike.


For Dante or Petrarch, ‘courtly love’ was a kind of divine torture, with young men pining and fading for years at the sight of a chaperoned maiden who besotted them. The great literature of love Romeo and Juliet, Anna Karenina, Madame Bovary warns of the dangers of being driven by desire.


Mysterious men talk about the tiny, fascinating aspects of interesting subjects, the less they give away about themselves, higher the curiosity. What you do when you’re completely descriptive about things is that you show that you are smart, creative, and are open about sharing and disclosing details. On the other hand, by elevating a level of curiosity, you are giving an opportunity to the other to make assumptions or throw questions which might or might not be answered.


Elusive people are maddening. They will always be mysterious in the worst moments. They are difficult to talk to and give you the feeling that nothing is ever what it seems but at the same time, they are also really fun to hang out with.


Ladies, silence is awesome when you’re creating intrigue! Only break the silence if it’s not working towards your seduction. Remember to hold your cards close and only give out information when he’s earned it.


Saloni Jain

Saloni is an epitome of sarcasm with the right amount of humor in her writing combining with extracts from her personal experiences. She anyday enjoys a cup of hot Americano, good music and she’s a weekend party lover.


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