Dear Delhi

By Staff Feministaa in Editor's Pick 08/06/2018

This is going to be long blunt and not fabricated with fancy Words.


Words from last night


Its 2:15 am and I’m sitting on the floor at Delhi airport right now (due to full occupancy of the very few seats available around). agitated, frustated, exhausted and insanely sleepy, while waiting for the sun to rise just so I can leave for my friend’s place in South Delhi.


Delhi Airport


Last month, around this time, an incident took place with me in the same city when I was travelling from Banglore for my Himachal trip and Roopkund trek. My flight landed at three in the night and before you may ask, I chose this flight as it was the most economicaI options available. Upon reaching, I decided to head to my friend’s place in an Uber, one because I had a real long day and two because I had a shoot at 7 AM next day, hence longed for atleast a couple hours of sleep. While seated in the car. I made my own fake calls to make sure the driver is aware that I’m not a new girl in the city and I have people waiting for me to reach my destination. Everything was going fine and as per Google maps. I was three minutes away from my friend’s place until the car stopped in front of two huge barricades, locked to not let any cars pass beyond that area. I requested Google maps for another route and my driver immediately agreed too but u luck would have it, two minutes away from her apartment. once again the car had to stop as two huge barricades prevented it from moving further.


Later I learnt, apparently it’s a Delhi thing where quite a few areas and colonies have barricades across their entrances preventing cars from outside to enter the area post midnight.



Both google maps and my knowledge about the area were unable to think of a third route to reach my friend’s place and given the fact I couIdn’t ask her to come alone and accompany me to her apartment. I had two options. One was to go back to the airport. Two was to walk till her house which was quite literally two minutes away. I decided to go with the second option and was about to ask my driver to accompany me till her building, but right at that moment he got another booking on his phone. I took out my pepper spray, wore my bags and started walking. It was an L shaped lane and there wasn’t a single soul in the street (which ironically, I felt was a safer option at that point). I could see her building area from a distance and I started to pace my speed up when I spotted two cars from the opposite direction coming towards me and while the first one crossed normally, I heard men hooting from the second car as they drove past me. A little scared, I started increasing my pace and kept convincing myself everything’s fine until I looked behind to see the second car taking a U turn.



This was the moment. I swear, I’ve been travelling since so long, been to several places on my own but never ever in my life did I feel so helpless like I felt at that point of time. I couldn’t choose to run because I had three bags with me. I had no one to call for help and most importantly I literally had two seconds to think of my next step. I spotted cars parked on either side of the road, immediately running behind a big one to sit down trying to hide myself. I stayed there for a while, crying in fear as I watched the car slowing down somewhere near me, zooming past me thereafter.


I somehow managed to reach my friend’s place.


I thought I didn’t let this incident shake me up or affect my life until today as I’m having to sit down at the airport waiting for an indefinite period of time Coincidentally, my flight from Bombay to Delhi today was again scheduled to reach at half past one in the night and because I had booked all my flight tickets two months prior and way before this incident occurred, I couldn’t choose a different time to arrive in Delhi.


Today was undoubtedly one of the bad days. I had an extremely exhausting afternoon and with four hours of sleep from last night and with Bombay heat and traffic, everything escalated further. Several moments of blackouts and breakdowns later, I somehow managed to pack my bags and leave for the airport.


Upon reaching the Delhi airport, I realized I have to spend good four hours sitting at the airport waiting for the sun to rise while barely being able to hold myself together because I’m born as a woman in this country.





No. this is not a post on feminism and neither I’m looking for a blame-game and I swear the last thing I’m trying is to earn sympathy. It’s as simple as this. It’s two in the night and after such an overtaxing day when I can barely manage to keep myself together, all I could ask for is a bed to sleep on. And though I have one waiting for me an hour away, I can’t travel alone in the night. Why? Because I’m fucking scared. Why? Because I still get nightmares from that night incident. Why? Because I’m a woman. I swear I’m so agitated and frustrated right now at the sheer helplessness of the situation. I am so angry that I live in a country where I can’t travel alone in the night. Probably all of this might seem to dramatic for some of you, but the inside of me are raging at the moment and while I spent the last hour in the washroom breaking down into a pool of tears, right now I am very very angry. At the world, at myself, at God, Or probably because I don’t like feel helpless for no good reason and that’s exactly how I feel right now.

It’s 3:22 now.

Google shows sunrise is at 5:23.

Staff Feministaa

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