Do Women Have More Affairs Than Men ?

It’s quite usual for foreigners to react to marital discretions with an indifferent shrug but the latest research by Ashley Madison, a global dating website states that 76% of Indian women do not think that infidelity is a sin, anymore. What’s more, 68% of women and 81% of men believe that a casual affair might even have a positive impact on the marriage.

Sexologist Dr Prakash Kothari states that this interestingly works as a wake-up call to repair the dwindling relationship.

While Varkha Chulani, a Mumbai-based clinical psychologist states that it might also be due the YOLO (You Only Live Once) affect, which coaxes both men and women to find more than one partners.

But getting back to the main question, whether or not women have more affairs than men, the analytical reasoning are quite interesting. More and more research reveals that women might be more culpable of infidelity or having more affairs than men. Though, quite intuitively, we would blame men for such episodes, as they are considered more casual, commitment-phobic and impulse-driven.

The Science of Infidelity

Even from the evolutionary perspective of ‘survival of the fittest’, it makes more sense that men would date more and technically ‘spread their seeds’ in more than one potential partner. Though, women do not share the same evolutionary ideology, they are more prone to have more than one partner due to various behavioral urges.

Biologically, women carry a specific genetic mutation called as vasopression which is more likely to engage in infidelity. Dr. Zietsch from University of Queensland, Australia has also linked the presence of hormones like vasopressin and oxytocin to promiscuity and infidelity in women. Both these hormones play a pivotal role when it comes to creating feelings of care, trust, empathy and romantic engagements.

Less is More

Often women find strangers curious and enticing. The less they know the opposite sex, it’s more likely that they would stalk and get the right details. It also creates the aura of surprise, which lacks in most of the relationship as they grow old. Hence, it’s thrilling and quite addictive as it adds the missing spark in life. For many women, such episodes might be just temporary and casual, as it might happen in a club, under the heat of the moment or just randomly. While, for other women there can be several reasons beyond, as well.

Falling in love, again

Love is quite ambiguous and abstract as it means different emotions for different people. For few women, it takes time to have the idea of the man they are fond of, to literally grow on their skin. While other women, who are much more audacious and wild, would rather check out their physical chemistry before eventually identifying whether or not they are falling for their chosen partner.

It’s quite natural to fall in love once again, or be attracted to someone, even after being in a stable relationship or marriage. Many women, who already have a certain comfort zone with their partner, stray into newer, fresher relations for the charm of it. Besides, it can also happen that a new encounter with someone they are really interested in, reveals that they never had the so-called ‘love’ for their own partner, but instead had attachment and feelings of intimacy.

Seeking revenge?

Well, there are few other interesting reasons also which pull the woman towards infidelity or having more than one partner. It could be that they have found out that their own partner is cheating on them. So, instead of being the victim of their story, they stand up to take revenge and indulge in the same act themselves. It endows them with a sense of liberation, a thrill of achievement which makes them feel that the charm still prevails.

It helps in improving their self-confidence and keeps them entertained, for sure.

There are few women who have been subjected to domestic violence in their relationship or marriage, and hence, they just can’t control themselves if they find care and empathy from the opposite sex. More than a casual affair, it helps in their own catharsis as they are able to vent out their emotions and be normal again. So, at times, there are various unknown reasons behind a woman having more affairs.

Variety: The Spice of Life

For many women, having more than one affair is a regular ritual. Firstly, they do not believe in the façade of love-at-first-sight, so they try out more and keep their doors open. They do not believe that they can connect with only one partner and hence, they keep discovering new people, exploring their lives and being a part of them. Secondly, all this exploration keeps the life interesting and adds spice to it. There is always that feeling of ‘butterfly-in-the-stomach’ and the reason to get up every morning and share a special bond with someone new. Thirdly, as women grow older, they start believing that their magical years are fading away; hence a casual affair with someone younger than them can give them an adrenaline kick. In short, it is all about adventure.

 Should women feel guilty?

Well, it’s definitely a very subjective question. It depends from woman to woman. Few can take it as a ‘the entire world is mine’ attitude without a pinch of guilt while others might feel remorseful as they start questioning the strength of their own character and moral values.

For sure, cheating and infidelity do inculcate guilt, if not now then in the long term and hence should be avoided. There’s always a sense of closure involved in ending one’s relationships in an amicable manner, with grace and integrity. It does not matter whether it was a relationship or marriage but being honest with each other, even if it might be painful, is a must.

So, for all those women are out there and have more than one affair, at one time, do remain careful. At times, it can take a toll on you and result in  unforeseen consequences. Don’t get blinded with more than one relationship, it will just leave you in a confused state.


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