I will have what she is having

Why is it always that we want to have what we see others having? How do we let people influence our choices, needs and wants for instant gratification? Why do we give so much preference to what the other person is doing or eating or wearing?

An extract from an article published by The New York times by Sam Polk, states that, “In my last year on Wall Street my bonus was $3.6 million — and I was angry because it wasn’t big enough. I was 30 years old, had no children to raise, no debts to pay, no philanthropic goal in mind. I wanted more money for exactly the same reason an alcoholic needs another drink: I was addicted”.

This is because, we are still searching for more around us and when we feel that there is more available, we tend to see others if they have what we want. The search for more seems to have no end. There is no cure for insatiability because enough is nothing. Wants, needs and desires are never limited and they will just keep on growing. Only when, we are at peace with our surroundings, and ourselves, only then we can be happy.

In Buddhism, “craving” is the hindrance to being enlightened. Here, craving means the need to have material objects to stay happy. We want what others have, we want to wear what others wear, and we want to eat what others are eating. The question is that how to minimize that? We don’t realize but this kind of attitude creates negativity around us, when we have unlimited wants but limited resources.

The answer to this question is quite simple but really hard to actually implement.

We should inculcate within our thinking that we are lucky to have been blessed with what god has given us. We should observe the people around us who are underprivileged, sick and unemployed. They have nothing compared to what we own. Life might seem tough to us because we can’t have access to the big rock at the jeweler’s window. But we don’t realize that what we have is nothing but a blessing from the Almighty and its time we crib less and thank more.

Our cravings and greed turns us into being envious of the people we love and care the most. This not only disturbs relationships but also makes them fragile. This turn of events of being envious of people we love puts us on the dark side. We can’t be going there as once we are there; there is no coming back. We spoil relationships and materialistic objects and envious attitudes haunt us day and night. Then the mind works only towards executing dark actions and hinders our spiritual growth and curtails mental peace.

Although, it is as hard as to defy the impossible, to not be greedy or envious as it comes kind of naturally to humans. But, we are the masters of our own actions and once we try, we can even control the mind. Once we learn how to control our minds, we will be the real winners. Our mind is like a forest with too many things happenings at the same time, but if we know that we own the forest, we can control its working as well. We can’t be in full control of our thoughts but we can always identify and understand our flaws so that we are able to work on their rectification.

So, lets try and make greed a weapon for achieving something good rather than a source of self-destruction.