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“As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman’s thinking”
Society is hypocritical, something we all are quite well aware of, given the innumerable instances in our daily lives.
We say that we respect women, but we rape them.
We say we respect and love our elders, but we send them away from us as soon as we get an opportunity. We say we love our friends, but we backstab when we have our selfish motives.
Hence, it is not wrong to say, that for us, hypocrisy is a way of life.
That’s one of the biggest reasons; we have social stigmas attached to our society. Social stigmas are a product of a hypocritical society, which produces such guidelines, leading us to the wrong direction and affecting our thinking in the most negative way.
The society is creating more and more stigmas for women now, which is creating a suffocating environment to survive. These stigmas are a result of a clash between the traditional and the modern way of life, which has resulted in creating such strong opinions.
One of the most common stigmas is related to the facial color of women, which is that a dark woman cannot be as beautiful as a fair woman, whereas, the term beauty does not have a defined color in it’s definition. We always knew of beauty to be innate, then why do we have an altered definition of beauty attached to a specific color?
This is more prevalent and widespread in the Indian society due to lack of exposure and literacy in the society. The orthodox traditions and thought processes are still haunting our modern day lives. Although, by conducting awareness programs, we are made to feel that it is getting better, but this disease is an epidemic and its spreading its wings in all directions.
Another raging issue is, the Indian society’ s outright rejection to the belief that strong headed and outgoing women can also be good homemakers. An image of a “sati-savitri”, is a naïve, docile, dainty and submissive women. This is the acceptable definition of the perfect homemaker in the Indian society. But, with the help of education, women today, stand with strong ambitions with their heads up high. They have reached out to the highest heights, competing with men in all spheres, creating a strong identity for themselves. But, why is that that till date, the Indian society views such women to be bad homemakers? Again, hypocrisy has played its card here. One on hand, we are trying to eradicate illiteracy in the society, and on the other, if an educated and outgoing woman, marries into the family, people make judgments and hold apprehensions related to her ability to handle and raise a family.
But what they forget is that, ambition doesn’t kill you, it only makes you stronger.
An Indian mother- in- law’s answer to what kind of daughter in law she desires, would be, “ a simple, homely girl who is from a good family”.
But, in reality, this definition is deceiving. She wants a girl who doesn’t question her or answers back to her. Mainly, she wants for her son, a submissive girl whose life revolves around her family only. Whereas, a modern day well educated man would prefer a woman, who is well travelled, educated, outgoing and who can contribute to the family in a significant way. But, such women are feared from, just because she has had exposure to a greater life and is educated well. Her thoughts would be leaning towards promoting a more western culture like nuclear families. In some cases it could be true as well, but making this a stereotype would be wrong.
Also, a well educated, working girl can contribute her skill set to her husband’s business or even help the family through her earnings. But again, this is not what a typical Indian family wants their daughter in law to do. Times have begun to change and people are trying to adapt to a broader mindset, but the situation is still quite bad.
Today, this thought process exists in every Indian home and this has definitely raised a few questions regarding who is “ the perfect home maker”?
In the current scenario, the perfect homemaker would be a smart juggler. A woman with a career, makes her disciplined and responsible and a strong value system makes her understand the importance of raising a family. The quality of raising a child is innate and cannot be judged based on her being strong headed or outgoing. For some, the perception of an outgoing women could be someone who supports drinking or smoking. But, even if a woman drinks or smokes, how does that make her a bad homemaker? In the west, roughly, every third women would be either engaged in drinking or smoking. But, that’s a matter of concern only if its affects her health or her daily life in a significant way.
People smoke or drink for leisure or to cope up with stress, but that cannot be a factor to judge their ability to be good homemakers.
A personal choice cannot define your abilities or capabilities. This social stigma is coming in the way of our efforts in making our society, women-friendly. The need of the hour is, a society which supports fearless, strong headed, outgoing women, breaking the shackles of a stereotypical Indian wife.