Is the ‘Hookup Culture’ Destroying Real Love ?

What’s the hype around our generation’s love of casual sex ? Or are most of us actually settling down after we sow our wild oats?

The rising trend of the ultimate 21^st century is the advent of ‘Hookup Culture’ in India.  So if you’re looking out in the crowd to satisfy your sexual needs without the exasperating dilatory strategies of ‘falling in love’, you definitely are to be rewarded as a ‘cool’ guy/girl in this society. ‘Hookup’,  in itself is more than just  a term. Its more about getting involved in frequent sexual encounters pursued by both participants without the expectation of a continuing relationship.

Casual sex has become too easy; the consensus seems to be preventing young people from making meaningful connections and turning into sex-crazed, diseased sociopaths speeding toward a broken, lonely future.  Thanks to the increasing social media, demeaning the quintessence of love by dawning the civilisation with dating apps (easy way to sex). So, instead of following a series of steps in order to get ‘laid’, the new generation only needs to ‘swipe right’ (Or left, in the case of those with more obedient hormones).

But what constitutes the real reason the behind the shift of thoughts from a relationship to one night stands/casual sex/hookups?

‘‘It’s more convenient and less of a drama. You spend the night, enjoy and simply move out like nothing ever happened.  Girlfriends crib about being sexually involved, I hate drama.’’

“This culture should be welcomed, because there are people like us who don’t want to be in a relationship but we have certain needs to be fulfilled. And when it’s mutual, then the matter is sorted.’’

“Hooking up with someone I didn’t know , forced me out of my comfort zone and made me more carefree. It helped me put aside my physical insecurities and to care how about how I look. It makes me feel good about myself”.

The root cause of the advent of such a culture could be that people of this generation have lost the essence of loving their partner,  and have agreed to the fact that long-term matches will never work out with their busy routine. Secondly, it has become more like a style statement. Even females who are crossing their teens seem to have accepted the fact that hooking up with a random guy is much more easier than going through the trauma of starting and maintaining a full fledged relationship.

Another reason could be that people find these dating apps as an easy way (not just for sex) to find like-minded people. A 60 year old might not need such an app to find out his/her soulmate because the concept was not introduced until then. It’s not necessary that this generation is jaded about love. In fact, the younger generation simply wants to sample the ‘other side’ before making any major commitments.

Is commitment the new phobia ?

Hookups have come into existence because sex and love have been sliced apart into two different concepts. Earlier, they were assumed to go hand in hand (preferably with a wedding band). This has changed completely and having sex without any emotional intimacy is the new equation, which is no longer considered immoral.

Are we becoming sex slaves? Maybe.

There are plenty of reasons why both the genders and all other sexualities choose to hook up. It’s physical pleasure without any emotional risk. It’s exploratory and experimental. To older generations, the suggestion of the hookup culture could be leading to sketchy sexual situations and it makes complete sense.  Just like shoulder pads once hid our tender body frames, hookup culture has disguised the reality of sexuality.

If you’re completely unavailable to be a part of the hookup culture, people don’t see you as a target. But if you opt in, you are vulnerable.

Finding love in a hookup setting is possible, if you want it and if you are man or woman enough to handle the possibility of a romantic spark. You maybe surprised at what you find if you look close enough. It all starts by being honest with yourself and setting the right expectations about what you want from the get go.

But as they say, change is progress, Maybe?