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“Envy is ever joined with the comparing of a man’s self; and where there is no comparison, no envy.” —Sir Francis Bacon
One of the many traits which a woman cannot surpass is COMPARISON. But why do women compare? A Woman tends to idealise herself as a superior being, not because she’s born like this but also because of certain social factors which force her to compare. There are different phases in a woman’s life which brings her closer to comparing herself to people around her.
Jealousy? Insecurity? Lack of confidence?
I want to elaborate on a situation I came across in a girl’s toilet on a Saturday night. These girls were exchanging endless compliments while trying to get their winged eyeliners right. But, these compliments were mere expressions of jealousy. I could tell by the overly enthusiastic tone in their voices and the sarcastic comments. But, the question is why would they be so gushing to one another if they’re secretly in competition with each other?
We live in a society where the ‘number of likes’ on our Facebook profile picture and the number of instagram followers depict our popularity. Ladies, why are we running in a rat race which will lead us nowhere but towards depression ? The reason could be anxiety or even low self confidence but why to compare yourself to other females in terms of how she looks or how successful she is ? If anything , try to replicate her actions and make her an inspiration. But again, some women are just too proud to admit and appreciate, which is the biggest hurdle in the way of any successful woman.
The problem is that we don’t look at other women as normal women who have their own problems and their own issues. We look at their “oh so perfect” lives and get jealous of what they have and we don’t. We don’t realise that everyone puts up a mask of a perfect life. The reality is that life is anything but perfect. It never actually tallies with reality, but it still makes us feel bad about ourselves. Its high time we understand that comparison is lethal!
“From birth, we are programmed to covet things that are ‘good’, things that are beautiful, or things that make us successful,” says psychologist Emma Kenny. She also says that “on a primordial level, we are constantly seeking partners in order to procreate. Therefore other women who are – in our minds at least – more attractive and who have these beautiful things or keys to success become a threat.”
On the other hand, if we think practically, even comparing ourselves to others can be a valuable way of identifying our own ambitions. Seeing others do well is a motivating and inspiring feeling which will just push us towards our goals. What is important is that we need to keep a track of our direction rather than talking about what others are doing in their lives. So, lets celebrate ourselves and remember that nobody is perfect.
“Taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.”– Rosalind Russell
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