The Meddling Business of Marriage

“You’re next”

“Agla number tumhara hai beta.”

“Arrey re ab tak shaadi nahi huyi tumhari? Bhagwan pe bharosa rakho, ho jayegi jaldi.”

“30 and still unmarried?! Better catch a husband before age starts reflecting on your face.”

If you believe that marriage is a sacred union of two souls to celebrate love and happily-ever-after, then wake up my friend, how dare you? Marriage in India is all about what your neighbour thinks, the distant uncle you never met says, the gossiping aunties believe and what the society preaches. If you’re one of those people who thinks that chase of finding a suitable spouse should have ended with the Jane Austen era, then, by all means, join the club!

The splendid idea of marriage is sold in the glitter packaging of a grand wedding ceremony, dainty attires and all pomp & show. When it should be all about the union of two people (hopefully in love) who vow to walk hand in hand through thick and thins of life. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but it can’t be the end-goal of everybody’s life. However, every Homosapien is expected to embrace it, just to be socially accepted.

A 24-year-old young professional, Deepti Batra says that “if the society will continue to pester today’s fiercely independent generation then they might begin to despise the idea of marriage, just out of the sheer pressure they are putting on us.”

She further adds “I’d wanna get married when I feel ready for the commitment and responsibility of marriage. It’s not just about the wedding. Real-life begins after all the pomp and show.”

It is being said and heard by most of us on more than one occasion that – “They just got married. Good, they are settled now.”

Why is it that being educated, independent and accomplished without being married is not “settled” enough? Do you have to wear a ring or carry somebody else’s surname to be happy? Why is marriage set so high up on a pedestal of the epitome of happiness and life goals?

When a person at the age of 18 is considered responsible and mature enough to cast a vote to elect the government then why that same person’s choice on whether to get married or not is questioned and judged. A person should get married because they ‘want’ to not because they are forced by every possible person in their life.

There is a term called “right age for marriage” used by social mongers. Have you ever wondered what this right age is? This is the set age bar for marriage. The age bar cleverly set by society according to which a certain age limit is good to get married at, and it varies from era to era and place to place. Let’s say in India, it is early from the 20s to early 30s. But what happens when you cross this age bar? The answer is simple enough. You become a massively discussed topic amongst people who are bored out of their minds and have nothing better to do with their lives, an object to be analyzed by matchmakers to make a list of suitors for you and God forbid if you refuse to marry, you are made a social pariah.

However, Tanya Sharma, a 25-year-old postgraduate student of Medical pharmacology believes that “The right age for marriage is whenever you are ready, irrespective of your age.” She vehemently adds that “marriage should be a personal choice.”

We as people have understood the fact that marriage is not everything, all we need now is to understand this fact as a society.

The ultimate horizon of happiness is not marriage. It is a choice, a decision which solely you should make because in the end if you end up in a horrible marriage, murdering your partner, nobody from your entire clan of relatives, friends and guests you can’t even remember names of, who danced to Honey Singh at your wedding, will serve with you in prison.

That’s why, say ‘I do’ because you want to, not because everybody else wants you to.