“Being attractive doesn’t only mean looking a certain way.” The world and media are saturated…Read More →
Many people have asked me, what’s the price? What’s my quote?
Someone shouted “Boom Boom” on the streets ; that’s a shout out for me!
In school, there were many boys trying to hit on me. Some younger and some elder to me. I loved the attention. My friends and I would laugh at them, saying “booty calls”. I rejected so many of them, labelling them as “rebounds”.
It would make any girl happy to get this kind of attention.
After all, not everyone is gifted with good looks. And even if they are, not every girl knows how to handle it!
Last night, I saw a really cute guy pass by. Driving a big car, a bit tipsy but sane enough to drive. I wouldn’t mind going with him… But he looked right through me. I understood, my clothes are now too tacky for someone like that. Usually I walk up to clients, but today I felt shy. The same feeling lingered inside when I had my first crush! It’s amazing to see, that even after all these years, I can have such feelings.
My grades were always average. But I was content. I was never too ambitious, and my parents were okay with it! Especially my doting dad. His expectations from me were so simple!
All he wanted to see, was my smiling face, and his day would be perfect! But I never knew he would leave me midway, completely stranded. I was all by myself. I felt helpless and needy. But then I felt liberated, I felt free and powerful. But there were questions I needed answers to. I saw my mother with strange men but I never asked her anything, thinking she might feel offended. It was only later I found out she chose this path to feed me.
When papa passed away, mom and I were taken into the shelter of my aunt. Mom’s first cousin, and the only relative who was super enthusiastic to help us. She took my hand and told me, that she would sponsor my education. Little did I know that she would introduce me to teachers who would encourage me to love my body more than my books. They made me feel beautiful about myself but then I understood the reason behind that the noble deed.
All they wanted for me, was that I should be able to sell myself right.
My aunt taught me how to lure, what to say and how to get a man’s attention. Ever since, I feel like this is what I’m born to do. Yes, it sounds sad and depressing that I have chosen this life for myself but even If I want to, I cannot get out of it. Its like a trap and I feel that now, there is no way out.
The money keeps me going, and I know since I’m not well educated, I won’t be able to earn as much as I do currently. I wish someone had given me the right advice at the right time.
Some people might find my job disgusting but its actually just a job.
They don’t understand that we were not born this way, we were made this way.
We were made to believe that this is the right path and we were too young and naive to take a decision ourselves.
Well, this is life and I don’t like to complain. I try to enjoy my work just like everyone does. The good part is that I can handle my expenses and I feel independent. But, I have a vision for my future. When I have enough money, I want to travel to a different country. I want to meet people who don’t look at me the way people look at me here. I want a new identity and I want to feel free without any eyes judging me for my work. I wish that day comes soon when I feel like a clean slate. I have a dream to start my own family and be a mother. I don’t fancy big things in life, I want to live the little joys every girl does.. A romantic moment, the knots at love at first sight, midnight cravings and a hubby who pampers, an anxiety before getting married, the agony of choosing work over family, or maybe vice versa….
After all, you have one life and what you make of it is upto you.