Ananya Birla

Are You The Modern Indian Independent Woman?

In the 21st century, strong, independent women are definitely having a trouble with their love lives. These women have taken control of their lives, a phenomenon which was not possible before, and have charted through precarious territories, earning their name, fame and affluence.

However, no matter how successful and strong they may be, many of these women are having a hard time finding the right partner. Well, the term ‘independent woman’ became recently famous with movies like Sex and the City and magazines like Cosmopolitan. The whole idea behind generating this kind of identity was to create awareness about the woman who does not need a man to make her feel complete. Even Bollywood for that matter, is till now, fixated about women in their feminine avatar, unable to embrace the idea of being alone, without a partner. Thanks to few recent films like Queen and Margarita with a straw, the discourse started changing when women protagonists where shown  going for their own honeymoon alone or dating themselves, with luxury, alone.

Though, today everyone is equal, it is still a man’s world. Well, yes, women might have a hard time working on construction sites, or for that matter in business and politics because the entire system has been built by the male mind. But exceptions are arising and taking over, women are achieving their panache with style. But even now, to achieve higher-paying jobs and have greater recognition, a woman might at times, need to think like a man.

So, the question arises, Are stronger, more independent women looking for male partners who are not so very dominating and a little submissive? Well, if that’s the case, what’s wrong in it?

For such a long time, women have been trying hard to fit into the male-dominated work place that they have started losing out their feminine side. This indeed is fantastic for their careers but definitely for their love lives as generally men are on the look-out for a softer, feminine and vulnerable woman who will dance to their tunes. And that’s how the entire debate starts.

Today, women are not shy of wearing the pants and making the first move. Be it asking someone out or throwing in the idea of a one-night stand. They are much more evolved in their own self-realization and hence, can easily ask their partner if there is chemistry between the two, to take the relationship to the next level.

So, why do strong women need softer men?

For catharsis: Softer, gentle yet masculine men are great listeners. They are not insecure about the ambitious personality of their partner, rather they help them grow. They endow the softness to the relationship which at times, strong women are unable to. They hear, they advice, they placate and help women in venting out their emotions, which have been penned up for a very long time. Remember, this is not an easy task and only a man who is strong enough can do it. It will include several debates, controversies, blames and even emotional struggles, but the couple is able to manage through it.

Switching Roles: For years, women have been trained to be domesticated, to take care of their household and make babies. A softer man will not be insecure if, for example, he has to leave his work and be a ‘house-husband’. He won’t take it personally on his ego that he has to help the children do their home-works, take them to school, attend the PTA meetings and so on. Instead, he will be learning, finding solace in the new identity that he has chosen to embrace.

With the boom of start-ups in India, there are several men who have decided to stay at home, let the family run on their wife’s salary, as they cultivate their dream project and take care of household chores.

Does that make them any less manly, well of course not!

Strict No to Scriptures: Be it any religion, the identity of a woman might have been constructed to be on the nurturing side. But at the same time, no religion states that qualities like strength belong only to men and that of ‘softness’ are only in the domains of the women. This understanding from the scriptures has been manufactured to create consent and make women be aware of their limits, which in reality is not the case.

Men like intelligent women: Well, the secret is out. In today’s era, when a man decides to go out with a woman, he is just not looking for comfort, convenience and benefits. In fact, he is looking for subtle tact, intelligence and a good conversation which he, sadly, is not able to have with his male colleagues. And who said that a strong woman cannot endow warmth, nurturing spirit, thoughtfulness and care. And finally, for how long, will a man be satisfied with being a mentor for women. There is a part of him that also craves for guidance and mentorship which only a strong and independent woman can bestow.

Having a void filled in their lives acts like the happiness of the real kind.

Ultimately, who knows what the future beholds? Life is all about little, tiny moments which are filled with love and compassion. Women and men, who are strong and yet soft, can also, achieve similar wavelength and frequency of thought because they know their partner inside out.

So, here the dilemma ends for strong women! You are a go-getter and a great catch. In fact, you can teach a thing or two to your male partners and help them evolve. So, there’s no need to play dumb and needy because the right man for you, will never fall for these traits.

In short, there is nothing as sexy as self-confidence. Gone are the days when being shy was considered the jewelry of a woman.

Today, you have to make the make and get started! Cheers!


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